Domestic abuse is a situation where one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. Domestic abuse that includes physical violence is called domestic violence.
Domestic violence is the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another.
Domestic violence is an epidemic affecting individuals in every community, regardless of age, economic status, sexual orientation, gender, race, religion, or nationality. It is often accompanied by emotionally abusive and controlling behavior that is only a fraction of a systematic pattern of dominance and control. Domestic violence can result in physical injury, psychological trauma, and in severe cases, even death. The devastating physical, emotional, and psychological consequences of domestic violence can cross generations and last a lifetime.
How Can I tell if my Partner is Abusive?
Noticing and acknowledging the signs of an abusive relationship are the first steps to ending it. No one should live in fear of the person they love. If you recognize yourself or someone you know in the following warning signs and descriptions of abuse, reach out. There is help available.
Some warning signs of an abuser and examples of abusive tendencies include:
• Extreme jealousy
• Extreme Possessiveness
• A bad temper
• Verbal abuse
• Accusing the victim of cheating
• Keeping or discouraging the victim from seeing friends or family
• Embarrassing the victim with put-downs
• Controlling every penny spent in the household
• Taking the victim’s money or refusing to give them money for expenses
• Looking at or acting in ways that scare the person they are abusing
• Controlling who the victim sees, where they go, or what they do
• Dictating how the victim dresses, wears their hair, etc.
• Stalking the victim or monitoring their victim’s every move
• Preventing the victim from making their own decisions
• Threatening to hurt or kill the victim’s friends, loved ones, or pets
• Intimidating the victim with guns, knives, or other weapons
• Forcing the victim to have sex or to do things sexually they are not comfortable with
How can I tell if my Relationship is Unhealthy and May be Abusive?
There are many signs of an abusive relationship. The most telling sign is fear of your partner. If you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around your partner—constantly watching what you say and do and always trying to appease them, then chances are your relationship is unhealthy and abusive. Other signs that you may be in an abusive relationship include
• Feeling afraid of your partner most of the time?
• Constantly making excuses to other people for your partner’s behavior?
• Believing that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself
• Avoiding certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
• Believing that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
• Always doing what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?
• Feeling emotionally numb or helpless?
If any of these situations are happening in your relationship, talk to someone you trust to help you start working towards breaking the pattern of abuse and possibly leaving the relationship entirely. Please remember that you are not the cause of your situation, you are a victim. It is solely the choice of the abuser to abuse and you deserve better, so speak up and ask for help. There is help available.
Some of the National help lines for victims of domestic violence and abuse are;
1. Federation of Female Lawyers (FIDA)
Address: AN 20, Lagos Street/Keffi Road, Kaduna
Phone Number: 08033143437
2. League of Democratic Women, Nigeria (LEADS)
Address: 14th Floor, Hamza Zayyad Building.
No 4 Muhammad Buhari Way, Kaduna.
Phone Number: 08164312553
3. Society for the Preservation and Restoration of Women Honor and Dignity (SPRAD)
Address: No 3 Libya Street, Barnawa, Kaduna.
Phone Numbers: 08139010050, 08026901671, 07059195810
Email: spradyouth@yahoo.com
4. All Children Charity International Foundation (ACCIF)
Address: No 21 H Road, Barnawa Old GRA, Kaduna.
Phone Numbers: 08138911920, 08170471321
5. WRAPA ABUJA
Email: Wrapa993@yahoo.com
Phone Number: 08033144905
Supported by UNFPA
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